10 tips for navigating a friendship after a baby comes into the picture
Of course, it’s normal to stay in a little cocoon with your newborn in the first two weeks, says Dr. Deges-White, but after that, “it’s good to go out.” Building on friendships and having commitments (even conversations!) Apart from your “baby bubble” can help manage stress, stimulate your mood, prevent isolation and buffer against postpartum depression, explains Dr. Deges-White. Without forgetting: “It makes you a better partner and parent when you have the opportunity to have fun.”
2. Be honest on where you are
It could be obvious to You that you do not intentionally ignore your friend’s texts; You are too fried to hug you on some days. But “being frank and open” on how your capacity and your priorities are different can reassure your friend, it is not them, says Dr. Deges-White. “Let them know that you are trying to manage a new lifestyle,” adds Dr. Mills. “Remember that it is not personal and that you will be back, you just need time.”
For example, you could say something like: “I know I have been MIA lately, so I just want you to know it’s not you, it’s me! Parenting was suffered and some days, I barely have time to wash my face. Always all understood, but I miss you! “As Dr. Deghes-White explains,” even if they are not a parent, they will understand that life is changing. “
3. Invite them to your daily life
If the prospect of taking a shower, putting real pants and going out for sushi is positively painful, keep your sweats and think back what the train looks like. Because “should not be overwhelming,” said Dr. Mills. Think about what would really be easy for you right now and embrace the practical or discreet point of view.
If you are going to go shopping, shopping or taking the baby to an assessment, ask your boyfriend to come, says Dr. Deghes-White. Or invite them to join you during your morning walk in the neighborhood or for super fast coffee. “A little time is better than no time,” as Dr. Mills said.
4. Organize meetings adapted to babies
In an ideal world, you will regularly get baby shortcuts to relax and stay connected to your identity outside of parenting, says Dr. Deghes-White. But it is not always realistic – or you may want to see friends more often than you can find childcare services. In this case, “finding ways to include baby in the activities you do with your friends is a way to keep these friendships alive,” said Dr. Deghes-White.
