6 bad relationship habits couples therapists are begging you to break
Romantic red flags and dramatic betrayals receive a lot of attention (rightly). But it is often the bad daily relational habits that quietly separate couples.
Compared to biggies such as cheating, howls or lack of respect, more subtle models – in the way we communicate (or do not do it), the hypotheses we make, the emotional needs that we do not know – tend to slide under the radar and to be rejected as boring but harmless pigs. But really, “what ends up happening is that resentment is built, and it is built and it is built,” explains Janet Bayramyan, LCSW, an approved psychotherapist in Road to Wellness in Los Angeles, which is why the recognition of these small behaviors (before developing beyond reparation) is so important.
Read below for the most common errors, even the strongest couples make, according to the experts in relation – more, easy fixes to keep your romance strong.
1. You hide behind humor to avoid deeper discussions
Whenever serious subjects appear, you transform into Chandler Bing – Cracking into jokes or drop sarcastic liners to lighten the atmosphere. Whether it’s moving together, money or big feelings, you prefer to dodge it rather than face it with the front.
“As a rule, I saw this happen because a partner feels uncomfortable or unable to have difficult conversations and emotional intimacy, so they will use humor to divert,” explains Bayramyan. The problem, however, is that this defense mechanism can let your loved one feel rejected, as if you were only by the fun and easy parties of a romantic relationship – and not willing to deal with the deeper and more disorderly moments together.
What to do instead: You don’t have to claim that the opening is not frightening. “Be honest and let your partner know that there is part of you who want to divert because you are struggling with serious conversations,” says Bayramyan. For them, this can be the assurance they need to know that you are not only hitting them. And for you, this kind of confession is a necessary baby stage towards the most vulnerable with your partner.
2. You exchange nights of appointments for take-out dishes and television in bed
Most long -term relationships are not as energetic as at the beginning. As you settle down and make you comfortable with each other, it is normal – even a little comforting – to fall into a softer and more familiar routine that could look like a dinner after work, an episode of your favorite show, a phone by scrolling (or being mistaken) before going to bed. Then repeat the next day.
