Why do working mothers in India struggle to delegate tasks at home as well as the office?
It is 2 a.m. I am well awake, attached to a breast pump, preparing myself for the next flow of my little one. I could attack the dirty dishes at the bottom or prepare the breakfast of tomorrow. Instead, I scroll through the emerging eyes, looking for a momentary escape. Throughout my transition to maternity, guilt was my constant companion while I try to bounce back to my silhouette before pregnancy or make a bump in my task list. They say it takes a village, but delegating it has always been my weakness. This struggle to give up control is not mine, but common among mothers who work in India, who are often raised while waiting to manage everything without complaint or assistance.
In the recently published novel by Saumya Dave The guilt pillThe Maya Patel protagonist faces postpartum challenges similar to mine. As a new mother and CEO, Maya wants to do everything in her personal and professional life. Even with a husband, a family and colleagues wishing to help, she does not know how to take a break. The cultural imperative is too deep. According to the psychiatrist and the certified author of the Board of Directors, Dr. Sue Varma, “Society has treated women of color to internalize the idea that self-sufficiency and over-functionation are markers of force. In South Asian cultures, where family reputation is the key, women should fill several roles to perfection. ”
Indian women are culturally conditioned to be grateful instead of asking for help. Nothing less than absolute gratitude could risk the judgment of the expanded society or family. Even on the job market, juggling maternity and professional obligations have a cost. According to The study of the voice of women in 2024 of Aon, 75% of mothers who work have declared career setbacks from one to two years after maternity leave. An expensive price to pay in a culture that prefers the hiring of talented younger and cheaper and rewards those who are constantly increasing.
Asking for help starts home
For Gauri Agarwal, founder of Sihori, an artisanal brand that creates opportunities for artisanal women, the delegation has become less a professional strategy and more a personal rescue buoy. Having grown up in Muzaffarnagar in the Uttar Pradesh, Agarwal witnessed generations of women, including his own mother, living in financial dependence. The challenges that came to ask for help after having broken this generational cycle were another story. “I do not know if we struggled with the attribution of tasks to others is an Indian thing, a woman’s thing or a” me “thing, but I have always put immense pressure on me to do my responsibility,” admits Agarwal. The friction of her marriage, associated with postpartum depression and constant work trips, has become a turning point. “How could I empower other women at work if I couldn’t help it first?” The delegation was no longer an option for Agarwal, but a necessity.
