3 things to do when you’re feeling unsuccessful compared to everyone else
I do not want to admit it, but I have a story of comparison of my success to that of my friends and to feel unsuccessful. But it is a crazy race – I am an independent writer and, for any reason, many of my friends are lawyers and consultants. They are busy climbing the business scale while I am here by writing my little stories at home.
Although I know better, I fell into a terrible trap where I often look at their milestones – promotions, employment titles, salary increase – then in my own trajectory and think, why devil I don’t get these things? I then arrive at the terrible conclusion that it is because I do not do as well as them. As you can imagine, it was not big for my self -esteem.
According to Sanam Hafez, Psyd, neuropsychologist and director of Understand the mind In New York, all of us – in a way, in a way – we are paying attention to others. “It is integrated into our DNA,” she said to oneself. “We are concerned about the way the world sees us.” We look at others – their jobs, their family life, their vacation – as a measure or a guide of the way we hear ourselves. Although it is not intrinsically a bad thing, research shows, so often triggers shame, envy and resentment, especially if you are on social networks where everything is distorted and everyone seems to kill him.
If you feel unsuccessful and constantly question your progress, stay with me. I worked with my therapist to put this bad habit and I can finally say that it is possible to stop fighting unnecessarily. Below, Dr. Hafez shares three simple tips – alongside some of my own ideas – which will help you stop glamor the life of others and be more grateful for what you have.
Think about what you feel
Before you can change how the comparison affects you, it helps to understand what you really feel. Dr. Hafez recommends familiarizing himself with the emotions and thoughts that surface when you compare your success to others. The answer may seem obvious – but, I’m just jealous! – But digging more deeply could reveal frustration, shame, inferiority or other surprising reactions. The identification of these feelings – and accepting them without judgment – is often the first step in their treatment in a healthier manner. Research even shows that the name of your emotions (a technique called labeling affects) can reduce their intensity and make them easier to manage.
