5 tips on reparenting your inner child so your outer adult can heal better

If you spend a lot of time on Instagram in mental health or Therapytok, you may have encountered “repair” of your “inner child”. Maybe you have rolled your eyes and continue to scroll. Another trend of airy false faux, cool. But if you are here, the concept probably intrigues you, and for a good reason: repair is a fairly intuitive and really useful framework that an increasing number of therapists (and their customers) love.

“He is gaining momentum in the mental world,” said therapist Nicole Johnson, LPC, founder of Oak and Ivy Therapy Services. “But it is still not standardized and has not spoken enough, in my opinion.” (Johnson hopes to help change that – she has a book on the subject that comes out in July called Reparenting of your inner child: Cure an unresolved infant trauma and recover all of the self-compassion.)

So, what does repair look like, exactly? And how can it help you? Let’s go.

What is repair?

“Repair is a therapeutic technique focused on the creation of a stimulating and united internal dialogue,” said psychotherapist Gillian O’Shea Brown, PHD, LCSW, auxiliary professor at New York University. “”[It] Can help you develop a healthier relationship with yourself and overcome past injuries by providing the care and support you may miss in childhood, “she explains.

The approach is closely linked to the concept of the inner child or children, which you can consider as young parts of your psyche who still have distorted pain or beliefs, largely how your caregivers have fallen short or mistreated you. “The work of repair and interior children are like both sides of the same room,” says Johnson. “It is as if these children were stuck, frozen in time in this experience.”

For this reason, the old beliefs and injuries of our inner children can lead a plot From our unconscious models today, in a way that we do not realize, explains Dr. O’Shea Brown. Like fundamental beliefs on the part of the adorable or the trends around how you act in relationships, talk to yourself, manage your emotions and approach conflicts.

An example: maybe your parents embarked on explosive fights when you were small and you learned to stay safe by hiding in your room. Today, it could appear to be withdrawn from the slightest suspicion of discord. Or if your caregiver was sometimes annoyed when you have expressed a need, you may have coded this to mean that you are a burden. And now you are terrified to express the needs to your partner, even if you know It is not “rational”.