A friend’s ex—when are they okay to pursue?
The question of the “girl code” with regard to the ex is complicated. Strict construction can say that it is never, never acceptable to go out with the ex of your friend – see: the current micro -control swirling around Zoë Kravitz, who is recently released in Rome with his bestie Taylor Swift, we are also time, we are also limited. (I am not trying to propagate the stereotype of Queers-All-Date-End-End-Autre, but … there is real! Remember that Renué Rapp told Gabby Windey that all her group of lesbian friends is made up of people with whom she is dated?) Ex-friendly friends with whom she has shared an artisanal bungalow since 1977.
Nevertheless, I really understand the instinctive knee hypothesis that anyone who comes from the ex of a friend – even if, as in Swift and the case of styles, the relationship lasted less than a full year and took place a decade ago – is walking in dangerous waters. But as a person who has sailed in several groups of different friends, I must post this: if your friendships are Really More importantly for you than your romantic relationships, so you have to move as they are. This could mean, yes, slide in front of the profile of the ex-little friend of your best friend when he appears on the hinge, but it could also mean … Forgive your friend if he finds a link, whether it is a brief spark or a real atmosphere, with someone with whom you came out.
Would I be thrilled If one of my best friends sought or went out with someone with whom I shared a significant relationship in the past, myself? To be completely honest, no. But part of the emotionally maturation is to perfect your ability to sit down with discomfort and leave your real intentions – rather than your annoyed and upset lizard brain – guide your actions. After all, unless your breakup is very recent or particularly painful in one way or another (or your friend is used to going to people with healing To mentally launch some of your ex in the “community property” battery, especially if you have evolved and found a new love – as Swift has done.
