Do opposites attract? Maybe—but are they actually compatible?

According to some of the best Roma Roma, do the older response “Opposites attract?” The debate is a resounding yes. Improbable agreements – a bookish introvert falling in love with the popular social butterfly; The sparkling optimist attracted to the mysteriously covers realist – take advantage of some of the stories most worthy of fainting. But the real question is: do these types of matches really last?

There is something undeniably exciting to be with a person who, well, nothing like it. “The novelty is an integral part of the attraction of” opposites attracts “,” explains Chris Gonzalez, PHD, LMFT, professor and founding director of the Master Program of Marriage and Family Therapy at Lipscomb University in Nashville. “It’s like” there is something in you that I don’t see in myself, and that’s what makes this dynamic so little familiar but electric. “”

But will this early chemistry result in happiness forever? According to Dr. Gonzalez, not necessarily: “There is a difference between attraction, this initial spark and compatibility, which refers to the duration of the relationship to last.” Some opposites can successfully challenge And Complete each other in a way that strengthens their link, he explains, while other times, competing personalities may be impossible to overcome. Below, we asked experts, which means that some opposites click – and why others compete.

So why TO DO The opposites attract?

There is no unique answer on the reason why we can gravitate to our polar opposites. Again, the unknown can be a large draw. But there are several reasons why ending up with a very different person could also operate in your favor, according to Molly Burrets, PHD, psychologist based in Los Angeles and auxiliary professor in the Department of Marriage and Family Therapy at the University of California South.

To start, you probably don’t want to be with a carbon copy of yourself, explains Dr. Burrets. There is not much room to grow if you are both always On the same wavelength and never disagree or challenge yourself. In addition, things can become boring when you are too similar – without any contrast, it is easy to feel stagnating. In some cases, too many common points can also reproduce more Conflict, Dr. Gonzalez underlines – as if you are both too stubborn to apologize during fights or if conflicts are obvious that important problems are never solved.