How to be more patient, according to therapists
They say patience is a virtue. But nobody really tells you how To be more patient, whether you are dealing with long lines, traffic delays or a partner asking “Wait, what did you say?” For the third consecutive time.
It is true that some people are naturally more patient than others. According to Geoffrey Gold, PHD, psychologist in New York therapists, some personality traits adapt better to uncertainty, for example, or more willing to give others the benefit of doubt. But patience is not necessarily a quality with which you have to be born – it is also something on which you can work. “This implies developing emotional skills like being able to sit with feelings of boredom, frustration and anxiety, as well as mindfulness and self-compassion,” explains Dr. Gold SELF.
If playing the waiting game is not your strong costume, we have covered you. Here is a step -by -step guide on how to be more patient in your daily life.
1. Redefine what really means to be patient
If your idea of patience seems to be infinitely pleasant, never being bored and staying calm thanks to any drawback…. Yeah, not surprising that it is impossible. This version of patience is not realistic and, honestly, this is not a standard to aim.
Patience consists more in learning to abandon the need to control everything. “For people who tend to be impatient, there is a lack of acceptance,” said Fanny Tristan, LCSW, psychotherapist and founder of Restority Space in New York SELF. “Do not want to accept the duration of something, do not accept that it takes time to understand a new concept or a new competence” – it can naturally evoke frustration, agitation and even anger.
On the other hand, people who seem effortless to go with the flow “are generally more comfortable and anchored in reality that things can be really messy,” says Tristan. They know that a technological problem could derail their entire working day, for example, or that one date with which they vibrated may not respond immediately. It is not affectionate (or even love) these unpredictable hiccups, necessarily: it is a question of learning to roll with them without it destroying your mood (which leads us to our next pointers).
2. Get out of your head and in someone else’s shoes
A great reason why we are so exhausted when life is not going in our direction? We keep a lot of tacit “sockets”, say the two experts. The server should be faster. Your roommate should Make the dishes by the end of the day. Your injury should be cured after following the doctor’s orders.
