I dated my least compatible zodiac signs. Here’s what happened

If I had to withdraw a personal ad, it could be read as follows: I am a 26 -year -old New Yorker who likes solo dinner dates with a cocktail and my Kindle, Rewarching Anthony Bourdain and buying poorly advised credit cards. Adorable, right? Only there is a wrinkle in this memory of the Commelle: I am also a non -practicing date. I like to say that I observe meetings culturallyThat is to say that I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about dating-the policy of the ghost; The balancing act of wanting a partner but not, like, in an embarrassing way; The inconsistent nature of desire. I pay my romantic penance by making a handful of dates per year, enough to have the impression of not being a social recluse, but not enough to be really invested.

So far, this status adapted me well. I really appreciate my lifeless life. But we are often challenged in life and my challenge this winter came in the form of an assignment: dating the least compatible zodiac signs – astrological signs which, allegedly, are terrible for me. As a student in astrology and as a Gemini – Currious, empty, charming sun with a penchant for dialectical analysis – who better engage in this purely scientific enterprise?

In order to finish my mission, I relied on my fairly substantial knowledge of astrology, for which I will not apologize. For those who are less familiar, here is a quick cheating sheet with the basic facts of each element of the zodiac: the signs of air are intellectuals, the signs of water are emators, the signs of fire are (go ahead) and the earthly signs are put to the ground. I am a sign of air and, with regard to meetings, I have encountered difficulties with men of water signs, and by “difficulties”, I mean an inexpensive emotional intensity worthy of Sylvia Plath. Thus, in the interest of science, my first meeting should be with perhaps the most aqueous of all the signs of water: cancer. Do we dive, okay?

Date 1: Cancer

We will call my first Cicero meeting, cancer. Cancers, symbolized by crab, are known to be nourished, protective and in bad mood. Their sweetness is not supposed to be frozen with logical Gemini, often close.

After an early application of lips and blush at my office, I met Cicero in a popular bar in Bed-Stuy. I sat on my stool in the area and I thought about the menu as if I hadn’t looked at work before. Cicero came a few minutes later, standing next to me while ending a phone call with his sister. The sign is known for his attachment to their loved ones. A point towards the trend prior to the house and the family, I suppose, but not the best way to start a date. We greeted ourselves with a hug and placed drinks orders. Him: a combo of beer and shot, me: a fruity thing Mezcal. His order of drinks recalled the disorder of a university evening. Cancers are notoriously nostalgic, but it looked like a cry of help; You do not take any strokes alone.