Is it bad to never fight in a relationship? We asked experts for their honest thoughts
The fights, at least in the way we often imagine – the cursed, cursing doors, certainly do not cry out with healthy relationship objectives. But if you never fight in a relationship, it is not necessarily a flex either.
Although you probably want to avoid dramatic breaths filled with Cuss, free -frozen silent treatments and other unproductive ways to manage the confrontation, “there is a huge difference between fights and simply conflicts,” explains Felicia de la Garza Mercer , PHD, therapist based in Austin and couple advisor. And despite what you may think, you to want The latter in a healthy partnership.
Almost all couples (even relaxed) meet a conflict at a given moment. Ideally, it manifests itself as a subtle and not problematic friction, says Dr. de la Garza Mercer. Think: incompatible spending habits, disagreements on travel plans or facing parental opinions-relatively normal moments that do not have to issue problems (as long as you work respectfully, that is to say) .
SO Never in disagreement? Never? Well, it’s not always a green flag. Here’s how to know when your apparently “peaceful” dynamic is more a problem than an advantage.
When the fact that you never fight in a relationship become a bad thing?
In the early stages of a relationship, “it is natural to bite your language when you know that something is not a big problem,” said Dr. de la Garza Mercer. With these glasses tinged with rose, everything probably seems easy and perfect. In addition, knowing yourself tends to prioritize the stripping of small things during the swirling honeymoon phase.
It is also possible that certain couples can really mean it when they say they have Never Fight, says Lia Huynh, LMFT, an approved therapist based in San Jose, California. Usually, this happens when the two partners are so synchronized with their communication styles that they can calmly work through any hiccup – without raising their voice and before they degenerate in brand or breakup moments.
These scenarios, however, are different from the regularly swallowing of your frustrations. For example, Huynh recommends paying attention whether you have found yourself doing so in order to “maintain peace”. Maybe you fear that breeding the constant use of your SO’s phone during dinner dates automatically leads to a break. Or who does not agree with even one of their opinions could make them lose their interest and move away.
