Is it okay to not have just one best friend?
Who is your best friend?
This is a deceptively complicated question that has probably been asked during your school years, often to measure social value. Wherever you look at, the company continues to strengthen the idea that we should Having one: this perfectly mutual link and leads like Christina and Meredith Grey’s AnatomyBlair and Serena Gossip Girlor even Maya and Anna Pen15. But what about those of us who, well, do not have a best capital-B friend?
“This idea of having a singular BFF can feel proof that you are loved and safe,” said Christina Ferrari, Psyd, clinical psychologist based in Miami. You have found someone who prioritizes you above everyone – and better still, the “best” of all of his circle has crowned you. This explains why, for anyone who does not have this kind of inseparable relationship, “it is easy to assume that there must be something wrong with you,” said Dr. Ferrari. But in reality, not having a best friend is not at all a sign of failure – and having one is an idealized but unrealistic standard to which we have learned to aspire.
How the myth of the “best friend” allows us to feel guilty and insecurity
Barbie Atkinson, LPC, founder of Catalyst Counselling in Houston, is appropriate that the “BFF trope”, as widespread as it is, rarely appears in real life.
“It’s a wonderful fantasy,” Atkinson told you. “But that is deeply collided with the reality of the adult.” To maintain realistically a link in terms of grace and Frankie, you would need unlimited time, underlines Atkinson, a constant proximity that makes interactions 24/7, an almost perfect alignment of stages and priorities of life, as well as zero external pressures of things like partners, children or demanding jobs. “So, while the essence Unwavering loyalty of conduct, deep understanding and constant support may exist in adult friendships, the demonstration Of this constant availability and this global presence is not realistic for the vast majority, ”explains Atkinson.
Even if it is were Available, experts warn that a hyper-attaché and almost co-dependent dynamic is not something to look for. As Dr. Ferrari explains: “This is the same reason why we do not put all our investments in a single action: putting all your emotional needs in one person is simply not healthy or lasting.” This is why, rather, it is better to have a mixture of companions who each fulfill a different role to support you. According to Atkinson, this could include:
