Is taking a break in a relationship ever actually helpful?
The difference may seem subtle, but according to Higgins, it is quite powerful. “The language you use is important to help you approach the situation with more clarity,” she explains. “And take a break in a relationship can involve something is fundamentally broken or disjointed, which could make it more definitive and negative than it really is.” The space, on the other hand, seems much more neutral: it indicates that you intentionally give yourself room to breathe and think – something that even the healthiest couples need occasionally.
2. Consider the objectives of your temporary reset from the start
Basically, why do you even have a break in the first place? Do you try to determine if you can forgive your SO to have tricked emotionally? Do you need space to resolve personal challenges, such as deeply rooted insecurity or an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, without the additional responsibilities of a partnership? Or maybe you have both disconnected lately, so you hope that a little separate time will help you reconnect – or confirm that you would better separate.
Being clear on your goals from the start can give your breakup more direction, structure and goal beyond the delay of a break, says Higgins. Without this intention, you could end up going through all the time … While waiting for the other person to send you a text.
3. Decide how long the break will last initial
According to Farrell, there is no unique response for the duration of a relational break. For a few days, you just have to gain in perspective, while others may need weeks or even months. What is important is to have an end date. “Otherwise, the rupture can extend indefinitely, which is more indicative of avoidance rather than a real attempt to strengthen or revaluate the relationship,” explains Farrell.
The good news is that you are free to adjust the calendar of your temporary separation if necessary – simply discuss with your partner in advance on how you will touch the potential changes. On this note….
4. Establish some basic rules Before You hit a break
Are you going to stay exclusive or connect with other people? Are you going to check from time to time or maintain radio silence throughout the month? Too often, someone impulsively declares a break without approaching details, which “leads to confusion, misunderstandings, resentment and injured feelings,” explains Farrell. This is why the two therapists suggest establishing clear expectations in advance to avoid disorderly and dramatic surprises.
