Why making friends as an adult is no longer a priority for me

Like “sleep” and “eating proteins”, having an active social life has become one of those things that tell us are an integral part of our health, our happiness and our longevity. All statistics support it: according to research, having good friends means that you are more likely to live longerpreserves better physical health and are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Loneliness, on the other hand – which is distinct from being alone, but always – is apparently like harmful to our body Like smoking 15 cigarettes per day. It is, like almost a whole pack. Every day!

This is not a new ideal for me, which, despite about a million knowledge and many friends of the “outdoor circle”, has very few truly close friends. I could probably count those who are close to me – as in those who have gone to my house, who saw me cry, who know me intimately – with one hand. And the more I get older, the more I realize that it has always been so, and will probably remain in the future. And before you feel bad for me (or maybe you relate?), Is that how I like it.

When I was younger, I pushed against my natural solitary inclinations. I would go for long weekends with friends, sharing beds and accepting a group route. I would go to holidays, then I would join these same people for brunch the next day, even if my social battery had long since become flat. Alcohol has often helped: I found the socialization easy if I was drinking and the proximity so easier. But you shouldn’t have to drink to “pass” an interaction. The interest of socialization is that it is supposed to be fun, good for you and occur naturally. Being with a lot of people is not supposed to be an endurance test.

I also had the impression that I had to make new friends as an almost constant adult, then do everything I could to keep them. I too grew up with Sex and city, friends And later, Girls. I had assumed that having a large friendship group was normal and expected. I would be constant in constant contact with the group cat, or make sure that I had less Three social plans that week, or presenting themselves to someone’s birthday drinks so that I was appreciated. Obviously, I have often appreciated these plans, and of course, I like to meet new people, but this constant pursuit of friendship for good was also very drained. Sometimes I felt more lonely with others than when I was alone. Not always, but sometimes.